Ninja High School Musical
by Princess iPod
Summary: A parody about High School Musical with Naruto. R&R please!
1. The Start of Crack Couples

**I DO NOT own Naruto. Enjoy!!!**

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New Year's is coming for the ninjas all over the world. There was a stripper party held by the fourth hokage in his will. Most people came, but not the ninja school except the teachers, team leaders, and Hinata and Naruto. As Naruto trains to become the best ninja ever and to become hokage, Kakashi knocks on the bathroom door and urges him to get out.

"Come on Naruto, I HAVE TO GO REAL BADLY!" he calls out to Naruto.

"I'm training Kakashi-sensei!" He calls back.

"In the bathroom!?"

"It's more private and shit."

"Well why don't you practice at the party downstairs--- where you can target people!"

Instantly, Naruto came out of the bathroom racing down meanwhile, Hinata was reading her book in some other room. "Will you put that goddamn book down for an hour or so!?" Kurenai scolded at her and stole her book. "What the hell are you reading? Pron!?"

"It's pronounced 'porn' Kurenai-sensei," Hinata corrected her.

"Whatever same difference." She rolled her eyes and tossed the book to the next room which held the party. "Go get it!" Hinata came chasing for the book and found it, but was locked out and decided to stay at the party.

"ALRIGHT STUPIDS AND STUPIDOES, give it up for our hideous duet!" Kakashi announced. Kabuto and Orochimaru took a bow and left the stage while everyone was booing at them. "But don't worry; we have good news and bad news!" Kurenai said.

"What's the bad news!?" Everyone yelled.

"New Year's doesn't start for another 5 minutes, so you're stuck listening to another lame duet that sucks butt."

Everyone threw kunais at Kurenai and Kakashi, but they dodged them. "Unfortunately," Kakashi started. "We don't have good news. Anyways, we're gonna pick two random people to make fun at. And it's the girl with pornography, and the blond boy who wants to be hokage. Can you believe it?" Everyone laughed.

"Believe it--- hey what the--- I'm not gonna sing in front of these people!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Me neither… I only want to read my pron in peace!" Hinata declared.

Kakashi and Kurenai then went to get them. As Naruto is being carried by Kakashi and Hinata, being forced to be taken onstage by Kurenai, they both have no choice but to sing.

"You'll thank us for this later," Kurenai told them.

"Or not," Kakashi added while they both left them.

Naruto looks at a screen as soon as the music starts playing and what he has to say. He takes a deep breath and starts singing while Hinata freezes there, petrified.

_Naruto: "Living in my own world, pretending to be Latino. But anything can happen… because I'm in love with Ino!"_

Everyone gasped. Kakashi looked at the screen. "That doesn't say that… but I like it so far…" Naruto looked at Hinata, who still looked constipated and decided to leave as soon as he got a whiff of ramen.

_Hinata: "I never believed in, that stupid Naruto. I never opened my heart…"_

Naruto then comes back as soon as he hears Hinata and her insult to him.

_Naruto: "Oh, OH!?"_

_Hinata: "Until I saw Kabuto!"_

_Both: "I know that you are so strange."_

_Hinata: "Never liked you anyways."_

_Both: "I know it's for real, this could be the start of Crack Couples! It feels so right to not be here with you! OH! And now looking in your pants…"_

_Naruto: "I feel in my crotch, OH MY CROTCH!"_

_Both: "The start of something cool!"_

_Naruto: Now who would ever thought that--- I'd be with Tsunade tonight!_

_Hinata: And the world feels so much brighter with an emo by my side!_

_Both: I know that we are so strange. Never liked you anyways. I know we're both weird, but this could be the start of crack couples! It feels so right to not be liking you! OH!!! And now, thanks to imagination, I feel that my purity, my purity; will be gone thanks to… fanfiction…_

_Hinata: The start of fanfiction!_

_Both: Thanks to fanfiction_

Everyone clapped and cheered for both of them and some hearts were broken and tears were shed. They both went outside and started talking for what seemed like 20 seconds.

"I can't believe we just did that!" Naruto said. "It feels so sexy!"

"I know, right!?" Hinata retorted. "You sound like you did singing in your time!"

"Yeah, when I'm masturbating in the shower." They both give each other dirty smirks. "What about you? You seem like you did singing in your time!"

"Only once when I was singing at a sake bar and as soon as I drank my first cup, and looked at the crowd, I then looked at the ceiling. End of singing career." They both laugh as the New Year's start the countdown.

"FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE HAPPY EFFING NEW YEAR'S YEAH!!!" They both looked away and looked back at each other.

"So I'll see you in high school?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah kay bye! Oh yeah--- before I forget, here!" She gave him hair. "It's mine just in case you wanna put it somewhere you want to--- CHA!" She then went away. Naruto sniffed her hair and then thought of a rainbow of leprechauns dancing into the night.

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Will they meet again? Or course they will:D Review to read more! 


	2. Gotta Be A Playa

**It's been forever since I updated this. Enjoy, homies!**

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High school! The place where most teachers and stoners do not want to be at (which is everybody except pedophiles. They love being in high school wink wink). Hinata is wandering around the hallways trying to find her classroom.

_Where the hell is room 001? _she thought and looked to the left. There was a room with the words, _This is room 001 ya moron!?!?! HOW CAN YA NOT SEE IT!? _in big red letters.

_Oh, right, duh! _Hinata went it and noticed a tall woman with blond hair and the biggest boobs ever making a performance at the class.

"PEOPLE, PEOPLE! Where's the happiness... of learning?" she said, dramatically. "Why don't you people ever learn with a smile on your faces? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. The lack of enthusiasm is killing me! KILLING ME!" She staggered to the floor. Many people clapped and cheered.

"THERE IT IS!" They stopped and realized they were a bunch of retards.

She pointed a red nail at Hinata. "YOU!"

She gulped nervously. "Me?"

"YES YOU."

"...What did I do?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to point you out so I can make Naruto do something very idiotic."

Naruto turned around and saw Hinata at the back. She didn't notice him at all, since she was still caught up in her pornography.

He decided to call her, so he pulled his t-mobile sidekick and started dialing her number. How he got her number in the first place is creepy to explain, actually.

"_I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooooorld!_" Kankuro, Temari, and Hinata all pulled out their cells.

"AGH, THE CELLPHONE DEMON," Tsunade exclaimed and threw kunais at the four of their cells. "You'll get it back after central detention."

Sasuke raised his hand. "I farted."

"You have detention too, Sasuke."

"Oh my God, he's sooooo awesome!"

"Sakura, you will be joining him too."

Sakura cried, fanned herself, and then exploded into a million pieces of confetti.

"Eeeeew, her spleen!"

Tsunade pointed at the drunk frat boy. "You're not even supposed to be here! DETENTION. Ah, hell, DETENTION FOR ALL OF YOU."

Kiba raised his hand. "So did you get laid over New Year's?" Tsunade rolled her eyes. The bell rang and everyone immediately left.

Hinata and Naruto both started talking to each other as soon as they left. "Oh my God, you're like, totally here!" Naruto shouted.

Hinata giggled. "I know, right? It's like, totally flippin' awesome!"

"Yeah, so now we can like, join a musical, and be like, the center of attention!"

"Hell yeah! We're super awesome attention whores!"

"YEAH. Say, do you wanna go to the janitor's closet and like, take my virginity?"

"That depends, do you have a condom?"

"Ummmmmm.....no....."

Meanwhile, Temari and Kankuro are witnessing them talking.

"Why is she even talking to Naruto?" she asked her brother. "I don't even like him."

"Then why do we care again?" Kankuro questioned his sister's motives.

She shoved him. "You dumbass! Cause we're both sexy bitches, that's why. And we need a plan to ruin these people!"

"How are we gonna do that?"

"It's simple, we're gonna look her up on Google, and see what she's all about!"

"Brilliant, JUST BRILLIANT."

So they both went to the nearest computer and looked up Hinata Hyuga. Out came a million and 1 results. They clicked on a link and it sent them to a playboy photo shoot.

"Hinata's a bunny!" Kankuro yelled.

Temari clicked on more results. Their eyes were as wide as an owl's at the things they never expected to see in Hinata.

"Daaaaaamn, girl got D's!" Temari announced.

"What do you supposed we do about this?"

"Easy! We print them out and send them to the porno club!"

"...We have a porno club? Since when?"

"Since the pedophiles at our school gathered and protested one. Duh!"

"That's hot yo."

"Sure enough is brother." Temari pressed the print option and the nudes of Hinata started printing like crazy.

She then pasted them all over Sakura's locker. "Why are you putting them over Sakura's locker?"

"Cause she's the president of the porno club! This is why we have Sasuke nudes, remember?"

"Ewwww, I would never be interested! I'm a heterosexual man!"

"Sure you are. Just like Ryan from High School Musical. He was totally straight." Temari rolled her eyes and they both vanished out of thin air.

**Detention (Tsunade Style)**

"AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER TALK BACK TO YOU AGAIN!"

"Silence, you incompetent maggot!"

"PLEASE, JUST PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!!"

"NEVER."

The poor boy was strapped on a chair, his eyes taped open, and watching the whole first season of Hannah Montana.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hinata was forced to watch Cory In The House. She remained calm, yet deep down, she wanted to kill herself. Sakura was there with her, dying an agonizing death.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH, oh yeah, I know it was you who posted those nudes of yourself on my locker!"

Hinata turned to her. "Huh?"

"Don't play stupid with me, I saw your coochie all over my locker! I was impressed. If you wanted to join, all you could do was ask."

"Join what?"

"The porno club. And may I just say, I was very mesmerized by your... work..."

"But I never..."

"Don't be so modest of yourself, I would love it if you would join!"

"Gee, I would join, but I'm gonna have to be a bitch and say no."

"Bitch."

At the other side, Naruto and Sasuke were being tortured into watching Wizards of Waverly Place.

"This sucks ass," Sasuke murmured.

"Like yo mama!" Naruto responded. "Believe i----"

"Boys, boys, what are you doing here!?" The coach Hokage shouted to them. "I'm over there trying to train you all to die in excruciating war, and you both are over here watching this Barney crap!"

"Hey! It's not Barney!" Naruto said defensively. "And it's not crap either!"

"TSUNADE."

"What the fuck do you want!?"

"Untie these boys! They have practice!"

"But they have detention right now and I can't let them leave! Who else is gonna watch this?"

"Bitch, if you don't untie these boys right now, I will shove a kunai up your ass!"

Tsunade covered her butt protectively. "Alright, alright, fine! Have it your way, asshole." She took a kunai and cut the ropes for Naruto and Sasuke. "Go and please join the war. And when you do, please die."

They both went to the gym, but Naruto is still thinking about Hinata. _If only she know how big I was, _he thought to himself.

"Alright, guys! We're gonna train hard.... or hardly train," Naruto declared. The other guys applauded.

_Naruto:_ _Hokage said to run right, or run left! Watch out for her mood, and keep an eye out on her friends! Gotta run and give it a go, take the money, leave that ho, hurry, don't faint, cause she pregnant!_

He shot a kunai to Kabuto.

_Naruto: Gotta, be, gotta be a playa! Gotta, gotta be a playa._"

_YMCA people AKA Naruto's bros:_ _You gotta be, be, be, be, be, a playa!_

_Naruto: I gotta, gotta be a player!_

_YMCA: You gotta be, be, be, be, be, a playa!_"

_Naruto: __I gotta be a, be a, gotta be a player!_ _Let's make sure! They don't find us out. Cause when we cheatin', they might catch us, no doubt. Cause when we get in, then the sluts will get fierce, if they ever hear about this, you gotta grab her and choke. Maybe this time, we can steal her coke. Uh, gotta be the playa! UH, gotta be the playa!_

All of a sudden, everyone dies in a circle around Naruto. He's dressed like a sexy Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but has tears falling down his blue eyes.

"Why am I feeling so wrong!? I think I know why, my ramen's at home! It makes things feel soooo right!" He stops and looks out deeply. "Should I go get it? Better wait until the bums leave. Yikes!"

Then everyone gets up and starts having an orgy with Naruto.

They hear a grunt from Kakashi, who is witnessing all this.

"Room for one more :D ?"

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Will I ever describe the orgy scene in the next chapter? Tehee, no. Review and thanks for reading and being so awesomely patient with me! :)


	3. You're a Stinkin' Whore

Thanks for the reviews. Third Chapter! :) Enjoy, people.

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It was quiet. Too quiet. The school hallway was empty with only Kabuto and Orochimaru, making out passionately as no one can witness their secret love affair. Something came from the ceiling, which startled them. A black hooded Naruto was slowly coming down from a rope extension holding onto his waist. He spotted the two holding each other.

"Holy shit," he said as he pulled out a camera and took a picture. "This was too obvious. Can't wait to tell Sasuke. He owes me a dollar!" Suddenly, the rope extension broke and he collapsed on the floor because he was too fat.

"Please! Don't reveal us to those animals!" Kabuto pleaded. "They don't understand!" He started crying on Orochimaru's shoulder.

"Ah wish ah knew how ta quit yew," Orochimaru told Kabuto.

"Don't say such things!" he replied.

And while they were proclaiming their love to each other, Naruto was running to the musical auditions. There, he spotted Hinata waiting impatiently for him.

"What took ya so long?" she demanded to know. "And why do you look like Tom Cruise?"

"Why? Does it... turn you on?" he flashed a cocky smile.

She then took him by the hand and ran to the auditorium. They came just in time to watch the most hideous auditions yet. Ino was there acting happy and lively. Tenten was playing the piano.

Ino: IT'S HARD TO BU-LIEVE. YOU'RE LIKE, TOTALLY SLUTTY. (she throws her arms up) THANKS TO YOU! (she points to Tsunade) I GOT AN STD!!!!!! YEEEAAAH MOTHER(beep)ERS! I'M INFECTED!!! YEEEAAAAAAH!

She takes off her top, revealing her boobs and runs off the stage. "I'm finally 18!!!"

"NEXT." Tsunade calls for the next person.

Neji stepped up and started singing. Tenten was playing the piano.

Neji: It's hard to conceive--- ugh, believe. You're so pretty—- I mean, slutty. Thanks to you, I got an... a....... (he looks over to Tenten. She mouths "std" to him.) S-A-T!

She smacks her forehead. _I'm so not gonna put out for him now, _she thought.

"NEXT." Tsunade calls for the next person.

Out came Karen.

Karen: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIt's HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD to beliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeee you're so sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Tenten's buns went flat. And I meant the ones on her head.

"That was very..... painful," Tsunade pointed out.

"SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!" someone called out.

Tsunade tilted her head. "Do you even go here?"

Karen thought for a second. Then ran off the stage. Tsunade smacked her forehead. "Ugh, NEXT." Temari came out with a white shirt and a pink skirt. Kankuro came out with the same thing. "Ah, there are my stars! Show these bitches how it's really done..."

Temari and Kankuro smiled and went on stage. Tenten was about to play with piano, when she got attacked by Temari's big fan. "Hold it, Nine-nine!" Temari told her. "We already got our own music, thanks!"

Tenten looked at her with disgust. "It's TENTEN. Nice outfit, you whore!" And then she stormed off.

"You're just mad cause I kicked your ass in season 2!" Temari shouted to her. "Hit it!"

Music started playing. "It's Temmy, bitch!"

_Kankuro: It's hard to believe, you're so slutty! _(he points to Temari and smiles)

_Both:_ _Thanks to you, I got an STD! Thought I was so clean, when you took my virginity! It turns out now I have an STD!_

_Temari: By the way, I screwed your brother! _(Kankuro gasps) _I just want you to know! You know, so he can get tested and stuff..._

_Kankuro: You slut!_

_Both: I've never had someone risk me like you do... The way you do! And I never had someone screw me like you do! The way you do! So decent before, I finally found! You're a stinkin' whore!_

_Temari: Too good to be clean, so good to be dumb!_

_Both: We didn't even wear a condom!_

_Kankuro: For so long, I was lost. So good to get laid!_

_Both: I'm glad I didn't even have to paaaay!_

_Kankuro: This feeling's like no other!_

_Both: I want you to knowwwww, that I never had someone give me herpes before. I can't do it anymore! And I never had someone infect me down there! In my underwear! So virginal before, I finally found!!! You're a stinkin' whore!_

They both hold each other's waist and started can-can dancing.

_Both: Do-do-do-do! Do-do-do-do meeeee! Oh, no, no, no, no! Do-do-do-do! Do-do-do-do meeeee! Oh no, no, no, no, no!_

They started making Vogue poses and finished off having Kankuro lift Temari's top. The music stopped. Tsunade was quiet. Hinata and Naruto both died from the performance.

"Oh no! I think they're dead!" Tenten pointed out the obvious. "Someone get heeeellp!" An ambulance car came out of nowhere and tried to revive Hinata and Naruto.

Meanwhile, Kankuro and Temari remained frozen in their poses.

"I thought we weren't gonna reveal my tits," Temari muttered to Kankuro.

"Everyone loves to see them," Kankuro muttered back.

Tsunade broke out into applause. "Brava! Brava! That was magnificent!" She cried a river and built a bridge to get over it. "You guys are definitely gonna get the part! And nice move you pulled out there Kankuro!"

"See?" he muttered to his sister.

Tsunade looked out to the auditorium. "Anyone else gonna audition? No?" She didn't even pay attention to the ambulance that tried to revive Hinata and Naruto.

"CLEAR!" a doctor attempted to revive Hinata.

"Alright then, I guess we're finished."

Hinata came back alive. "I like to audition, Tsunade!" she shouted.

Naruto then came back to life. "I do too!"

"Sorry, but you guys fail. I asked if anyone wanted to audition and you losers came in too late. Fuck off, you suck." She proceeded to leave. Temari and Kankuro followed her while flipping them off.

"Damn," Naruto murmured in fury.

Tenten was carrying scrolls on the stage and then tripped on a piece of candy that just so happened to be there. Naruto and Hinata came on stage and began laughing at her. And then expressed concerned without helping her.

"Are you alright?" Hinata asked.

"Ooh, a piece of candy!" Naruto called out, grabbed it, and ate it.

Tenten nodded her head. "Yeah, I'll be alright," she told them. "Say, do you wanna watch as I show off my awesome piano skills to you?"

Naruto and Hinata shrugged.

She went to her piano and started playing the theme song for Sex and The City. Then, she played the song from the audition.

Naruto broke out into singing.

_Naruto: It's hard to believe. You're still with me. You were never my baby._

Both Tenten and Hinata was surprised, but then they started singing as well.

_Hinata and Tenten: Thought I was happy..._

Tenten stopped since a fly flew into her mouth and she started choking on it.

_Hinata: 'Til you came beside me..._

_Both: You were never my baby. By the way, I hate your mother. I want you to knowwww! That I never had someone treat me so badly. And so shitty! And I never had someone that was so bitchy! You make me angry! So lonely with pie, I finally found, the reason why I want to die!_

_Hinata: Ooooooooo yeah._

_Naruto: I hope I get piiiiiie._

Hinata stared into Naruto's blue eyes. Naruto was staring at her cleavage exposing from her shirt. Tenten stopped playing the piano and grabbed her own neck. The fly was doing serious damage to her.

Tsunade popped out of nowhere. "Okay, you guys are in."

They both squealed with glee and gave each other hugs of delight. "You thought we were good, right?" Naruto asked with high hopes.

Tsunade shook her head. "No, it's just if I don't get you in the program, then the writer would have to end it like this! And this is a horrible ending to a horrible fanfiction! I'd rather not risk it!"

"Hurray!" Naruto cheered. He carried Hinata into his arms. "Let us fuck!" Tenten collapsed on the floor, her face turning bright blue.

Hinata looked at him suspiciously. "Do you still have that condom?" Tenten raised her hand in defeat.

"Ummmmm..... no..........."

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Will Naruto ever use protection? Stick around, review, and found out! :D Thank you very very much!


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